Just another restful night... no big deal, really

Last night, I dreamed I’d been abandoned in the Komodo dragon habitat of the Reptile House at the San Diego Zoo. I recalled watching an Animal Planet travelogue featuring the vile, disgusting creatures and I seemed to remember that their bite is nearly always fatal to humans because of the abundance of harmful bacteria in their saliva. Several of the lizards had begun to stalk me, using their well-documented ‘scurry about the area like you’re totally nuts’ group-hunting maneuver, hissing and growling and generally making total asses out of themselves.

That’s when Larry King jumped over the railing with his cameraman. My first reaction was amazement at the agility of the seventy-seven-year old, but my awe quickly dissipated and turned to disgust as he put his arm around me and asked me if I’d like to see the genitalia of an elderly Jew. When the cameraman had completed his “In 5…4…3…2…1…” countdown, Larry stuck the microphone in my face and asked me, “So tell America, Bubba, how does it feel to be identified as the only person on the planet who thinks Ray Combs was Family Feud’s best host?”

I’d go on, but frankly, the rest of the dream gets a little strange, given the fact that I couldn't pick Ray Combs out of a one-man lineup.