Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Reconsideration of Position

After much consternation and gnashing of teeth, at the request of a reader who means something to me, I’ve decided to come out of turtle mode and stick my head back out into the world for the scrutiny of all who might happen upon my little island here in cyberspace.

Frankly, I am (and have been for quite some time) battling with myself over the concept of ‘worth’ as it refers to compensation for services rendered. I guess I’ve concerned myself with the concept my entire life. I’ve always felt that if someone spends time, money or effort in the pursuit of any quest, be it entertainment, goods or whatever, they deserve at least a modicum of fulfillment for their efforts. I take that very personally, because I’ve always worked hard and know the feelings I’ve felt after being ‘ripped off’.

The same concept prevails in my writing. It is my desire that whomsoever might spend their time reading my prose come away with some sort of compensation be it in the form of a smile, a wistful look, or even a spark of disagreement lustful enough to provoke a comment.

Perhaps I’ve been selfish in this platform. Maybe I should allot a period of time each day to sit and clack about trivialities that may or may not mean much to me, but which may spark an interest on behalf of the reader.

I’ve always thought of writing as art, with the words converted to vibrant and/or subtle hues of contrast giving life to a concept, disdainful of pragmatism and free to be kaleidoscopically whirled and twirled so as to catch the light, offering fire and brilliance as they’re read.

Trust me when I tell you chemotherapy inhibits my ability to bring the fire, but I shall try to honor your requests and offer up something.

And as always, thank you for your support. You folks are way too good to me.


amuirin said...

I hear you, and understand what you're saying. And *thank you*, for seriously considering writing more.

Trivialities - no, I think it would be a bad thing to expect you to waste your time. I don't expect or wish for that.

Maybe it doesn't seem like you can entertain or create the 'fire and bright' of fiction, now, and that's okay... I still feel that words are your medium, and they connect your heart or mind to the world.

Sometimes I just list words. And they become descriptions. And with luck those descriptions become me writing down straight from the core of who I am, whatever is filling me up. Natalie Goldberg said
"Finally a writer must be willing to sit at the bottom of the pit, commit herself to stay there, and let all the wild animals approach, even call them up., then face them, write them down, and not run away."

Not advice I've ever been ballsy enough to fully follow, but this I know. No one else will ever see the world with your eyes.

Anyway, an old reminder, this one was for you.

Jo Janoski said...

Bob, you could write the weather forecast and it would be fascinating.
That's because we don't care what you write, but only just how (And how!) you write it. Hope you're feeling well enough to party like crazy for your birthday!

paisley said...

i would love it if you would just hang out and shoot the shit... i miss you....

gingatao said...

That is itself a beautiful piece of writing, Bob, that more than compensated me for the very little effort it took to read it. It had colour, energy, intelligence, wonderful turn of phrase, gracious spirit, who could possibly ask for more. Fantastic and worth infinity.

dan2u said...

Hi Bob,

Just some words of encouragement from a total stranger (don't you just love that?)

I have enjoyed you work for a little over a year now. It's good to hear that you will continue to write when you can.

You belong to a wonderful community of talented folks who've been touched by your talent, warmth and good humor. You are loved, and that, sir, is a testament to you and your work.

Best wishes.

R.L. Bourges said...

a list of names from the Moberly phone book will do in a pinch :-)
hang in there.

Shirley said...

Wherever, whatever, whenever you write, it's always worth reading. When you stop writing the circle is not complete! See you soon!!!

Scot said...

happy birthday bob
sorry to miss the bash
but enjoy the world
taking notes when you can

Jo said...

I love amuirin's comment. I am glad you're going to hang out....doing something you're so good at will bring pleasure to you and us (see, we're not entirely selfish)......Big hugs, J

Bubba said...

Amuirin-- I went back and re-read "No Reason"...some of the most beautiful words and concepts I've ever seen. The ability to reach that level of consciousness amazes me, honestly. The piece transcends time and space. I think I'm going to copy it and put it somewhere I can read it often. I'm humbled to know that it was written about me, I honestly had no idea. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The 'bottom of the pit'... I can certainly relate, so I guess we'll see if I have the courage to let the animals approach. We'll see if I can get to the place where honesty completely prevails.

JO-- Well, hunny, the weather is sunny, so I'll see you tomorrow in the land of no munny.

Paisley-- Consider it done, girl. I'm back...

Gingatao-- Bless you, brother. You always know what to say to prop someone up.

Dan2U-- Many thanks, my friend. I've always realized that I belong to a wonderful group of artists. I guess sometimes I just tend to be a little self-centered. I'm going to endeavor to try harder.

R.L.Bourges-- I'll keep that in mind... any particular letter I should start with? ;)

Shirley-- Well, then, I guess we'll just have to see that it doesn't happen again, eh? Thanks for the encouragement... and, yes, I'll see you on Friday! Yee-hah!

Scot-- Yea, sorry you couldn't make it, but I promise there'll be accounts and photos to come, showing you the beautiful countenances of the revelers at my upcoming birthday barbecue. Stay tuned!

Jo-- Your upbeat wishes constantly bring a smile to my face. Thank you for each and every one of them... and your emails, too!

Tina Trivett said... are the reason we keep coming back to read. I can almost guarantee that I will be gifted with a smile after visiting your blog. I love the way you see your world.

Nan J said...

Bob: What everyone else has said. Plus: Thank God!!
Plus: this made me get all teary. Not even the [growl] Dallas Cowboys can do that [when they cause the Iggles to not win].

The Internet has seemed empty without your thoughts and stories.

Julie said...

I didn't know it was your birthday, Bob! I hope you had a great one. I can only echo the sentiments of everyone else here. You are awesome, amazing, wonderful, and all the other adjectives that mean you are the man!

Your writing is so much fun to read, yet it always makes me think. It's never trivial. Writing about everyday life is writing about humanity. And you do that so well. Even this post was awesome, because it made me think of many things about writing...the worth of writing in our society, etc.

I am also cheering to see that you're back. We all love you, Bob. I'm glad you decided to keep 'em coming.

Lori Witzel said...

Just stopped by in between too much other too-much-ness.

You see? A few pixels from you, and we're all pixelated.

And hey, if you ever get to Texas, I'll save a col'beer for ya. :-)

Chico said...

you have no choice in the matter,'re going to write...that was decided long ago...that's what separates those who do it on a regular basis from those who say "i wanna write" but don't...

they may wanna write, but you need to write...

are you always going to meet all of your audience's expectations every time you write a piece...? nature, audience's are fickle... i try to entertain myself first... sometimes i get lucky and i entertain somebody else in the process... but i try not to lose much sleep if somebody doesn't like something i wrote...

at that point i'm writing for them and that's a trap...

anyway, glad you're still banging the keyboard...

peace, my brother!