Friday, August 25, 2006

Astronut

I’ve always thought I’d like to be an astronaut. Can you imagine the thrill of having an exploding building strapped to your ass as you hurdle skyward towards infinity? Of course, the weightlessness part is a bit concerting… I assume astronauts get to sleep at some point and I don’t know what I’d do with my dentures. Certainly a glass of water sitting on my NASA bedside table wouldn’t work, so chances are one of my comrades would be fetching my teeth out of mid-air before my sleep period ended.

But what a view… especially at night! (Think about it, I’ll stop for a few seconds to allow you to catch up… I know it’s lame, but what the hell, it’s worth a shot. You try writing comedy some time—trust me when I tell you it’s brutal. I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be if I actually gave a damn what people think.)

I’m sorry, my train of thought is currently derailed, an eventuality all too common in my life. What’s worse, I’m apologizing to people who neither purchase nor invest much by way of time allotment to my writing. How pathetic is that? Damn…

6 comments:

Bubba said...

"...a bit concerting"? Yea, I'm a genius.

Some of you may be able to figure out that I meant 'disconcerting' and I'd change it if I could figure out how to make this machine let me edit once it's posted, but since that's beyond my capabilities, I'll give you the same advice I give everyone who dares make any suggestions for change-- "Suffer, be-otch".

Oh, well... consider the source.

kay lee said...

ER so asking for my money
back is a waste of time?
(G)

Bubba said...

The merest thought of 'money' and 'Bubba' in the same context is ludicrous beyond belief. You'd have a better chance of passing off lettuce as currency. Yea, Kaylee, I'd have to agree that your chances are, sad as it might be, about the same as the inverse of Avogadro's Number.

kay lee said...

So you are saying
I can get my money back
from Avogadro?

Silver Fox said...

What? What??? WHAAAAT????

Bubba said...

Mz. Fox,

What? You don't know from

Avogadro's Number??? Ahem...

It happens to be 6.02 X 10(to the 23rd power), and represents the number of atoms in a gram mole of any solution.

So there... (and don't think I'll let you get away with any cracks about moles, gram or otherwise, either).