Thursday, July 03, 2008

I heard it through the grapevine




Your Thought For The Day:

My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.




Salutations, fellow commoners. I trust the new day brings you the super-sized cup of glad tidings... diet, of course.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if ninjas had their own post office and a disgruntled worker chose to take out his frustrations with management and the world in general?


I can picture the broadcast on CNN as the helicopter view shows police swat teams swarming the facility in Honshu Province. The talking-head would tell us that Kymazu Honimaki was reportedly despondent during the mandatory three-hour morning prayer vigil, refusing to jibber-jabber with the rest of his peers or receive the sacramental incense. At approximately 11:47 a.m., Mr. Honimaki donned his ceremonial black gi along with his co-workers and began his job of cancelling arriving mail, but without his customary 'crouching-dragon' flair and accompanying side-kicks.


"Not single time within next hour, did most honorable Honimaki bow to ancestors," said shift supervisor Hirimatsu Shazai through her appointed interpreter, "velly selious!"

Providently, the situation ended without further incident when Honimaki promised to raid an enemy village without pay and forfeit the two bowls of rice he'd accrued in his retirement and profit-sharing account. Police forced open his locker and found only the customary cache of razor-sharp throwing stars, numchucks and black satin ceremonial garb, so no arrests are expected. Are you paying attention, Secretary Gates?


Gotta go... I'm still hungry and it's almost time to go to work. Those little mushrooms I found out back are tasty, maybe I'll eat a few more of the little beauties...

13 comments:

Word Catalyst Magazine said...

Still crazy...after all these years. Maybe it's the mushrooms!

Bubba said...

Shirley-- You got it, kid! Of course, you realize, you now have me scurrying to YouTube to watch a Paul Simon video of "Still Crazy"...

paisley said...

mushrooms equal spiritual enlightenment.. just read the current AP wire...

R.L. Bourges said...

Those two bowls of rice reminded me of this: In today's news over here today, the priest responsible for the miracles in Lourdes (no I mean, responsible for supervising the miracles, sorry) is under investigation. cuz, with a reported salary of 8,600 euro per year, he's managed to save up 427,000 euro for his retirement.
I'd heard of the multiplication of the fishies and dinner rolls but this? Miracles do happen, bubba. keep the faith.

Anonymous said...

You paint a delightfully warped and imaginative world. I don't know that I'd like to live there, but it's fun to visit.

Scot said...

I saw this guy with the sign in SF, unless they have a union that supplies all semi homeless signs

Bubba said...

Paisley-- That's okay, I'll take your word for it. The stuff I make up is bad enough...

Lee-- Imagine that... a priest actually not only homilizing about miracles, but actually making one work for himself. Who would have thought it? Was it one of the Apostles who said, "The Lord helps those who help themselves"? (((((SNORT)))))

Amuirin-- Yea, I'd only like to visit it, myself, had I the power to change things... but, I guess we all play the hand we draw.

Bubba said...

Scot-- You could well be correct in either scenario... but is it art?

Jo Janoski said...

Pass the mushrooms, please.

Bubba said...

Jo-- Would you prefer those mushrooms with or without a black belt?

Anonymous said...

The poster says it all...

kaylee said...

One of your best
way to go
happy 4 th

Noah the Great said...

What a trip!

You always bring a smile to my face.