Well, another ten blissful hours spent at the Harry S. Truman VA Hospital today, having various miracles of medical science introduced intravenously, and, I must admit, administered painlessly and professionally. While there, and within earshot of three other compatriots enduring similar regimens, I co-mingled the ethos of at least two different racial components, three different regional backgrounds, and, apparently, three different political party affiliations.
I learned (not necessarily from the same proponent) that John McCain is the absolute right man for the best interests of our country because he's the only candidate who'll back our military, that John McCain is obviously the wrong man for our country because a vote for him is a vote for eight more years of Bush diplomacy, that Barack Obama has a lot of great ideas but shouldn't be elected because he's black and can't be trusted, that Barack Obama is obviously the only person in America who'll look after the working man and he's only half-black and besides, he was raised by his white mother, and that neither John McCain or Barack Obama should be trusted, and that we should write in Ross Perot (if, indeed, he's still alive, which became a discussion that caused the nurses to ask us to quiet down).
Note to Bob: A Veteran's Administration Hospital is probably not the right place to discuss politics, especially if all the proponents are strapped to IV's.
I found a card in a 1998 copy of Stars & Stripes that I filled out and sent in. It was good for $25,000 of term life insurance for only $2.95 per month, with an option for up to four times that value for only $11.80 per month; so at some point in the future, my wife will be $100,000 richer. In my mind, it's a bargain, so I joined the AARP. I can honestly say that I'd be proud to join an organization like the American Association of Retarded People. I'm sure there'll be no problems with my application... I know I'll qualify with flying colors!
I'll tell you what, folks, I'm feeling so good that I'm going to try to go back to work tomorrow. I've been laying around feeling sorry for myself for long enough. The shock has come and gone and I need to feel useful again. Consider me open for business-- thank you and God bless!
Bubba
PS-- On a different note entirely, I'd like to pass along this information that I experienced a little earlier today:
TICK WARNING!
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it myself a couple times unintentionally. .. but this one is real, and it's important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying he or she is from the Health Department and checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!
They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.
I feel so stupid...
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10 comments:
Well, praise the Lord and pass the biscuits...Bubba's back! Glad to hear you're feeling better. Keep it up and don't work too hard. Yeah, if only you'd gotten that message yesterday I wouldn't be feeling so stupid today either!
LOL !!!!
to late takes on a whole
new meaning... Ticks
and door to door salesmen
do not mix.
Didn't your mamma ever teach you that it's impolite to discuss politics and religion.......I know you've done both here tsk tsk.
Glad to hear you're feeling brighter (though clearly not in some areas *grin*.)
(hugs) me
actually, bubba, people on IV's are probably the only ones it's safe to discuss politics with. I mean what are they going to do, swing the drip bag in your face? Big. Deal.
Great to hear you are setting forth to annoy the masses. You're the man for the job, bubba.
And please don't worry about that trick, I mean tick, salesman - he only got what he applied for, right? (hope you gave him the full frontal).
Glad to hear you're feeling up to rejoining the working class, Bubba.
As far as the 'tick incident', which I'm now calling it. Not only was I advised that my nakedness did not provide ample shelter for the critters, my neighbor has served me with legal documents. The phrase 'indecent exposure' was lined through and replaced by insufficient exposure!
Dangit, Bob! I should have read your blog before that man came to the front door. I was wondering why the pole and the music were necessary.
So glad you're feeling better and heading back to work. Keep writing when you can, of course! You brighten up the world.
Admit it! You really wanted to throw off your clothes and dance naked.
OK. I admit it.
Gosh, you're in fine form. I laughed all the way through this.
This bit cracked me up the most,
"and that neither John McCain or Barack Obama should be trusted, and that we should write in Ross Perot (if, indeed, he's still alive, which became a discussion that caused the nurses to ask us to quiet down).
Note to Bob: A Veteran's Administration Hospital is probably not the right place to discuss politics, especially if all the proponents are strapped to IV's."
i am so thrilled to hear you are feeling better.. emotionally as well as physically it sounds like..
hope work goes well and fills you with little gems of wisdom you can pervert in typical bubba style,, into stories and share them to us here...
xxoo
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