Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Dingleberries at Dusk


I think I have Cheltenham Book font envy. There is something about this elegant font that screams quality and competency. The classic lines, the flourishes pronounced yet understated… and no need to select bold face because this font merely steps up and proudly walks onto the stage without embarrassing fanfare or unnecessary introduction. Hello… I’m here… use me as you will.

Of course, I can’t show it to you because it costs $21 to download it, not that this is an unfair price for such a magnificent font program. You see, my friends, $21 is the exact price of a case of Bud Lite® and… well, I’m sure you understand. The first weekend of the NCAA college football season is nearly upon us and attention to brew inventories must take first priority.

Meanwhile, I shall continue to utter silent curses directed to those of you who choose to goad me with stories and jokes written in Cheltenham Book font, knowing full well the jealousy I suffer at your hands— not that my entreaties will have the slightest effect on you, sallow-faced impure wretches that you are. Just know that I am profoundly and irrevocably injured.

In protest, I am using the Times New Roman font, the most banal, uninspired, truly hideous example of man’s inhumanity towards man ever invented. Of course, if anyone were to actually send me $21 (no checks, please) or a pirated download of Cheltenham Book font, I would be forever in your debt.

Now, go play…

1 comment:

Bubba said...

Would that be 'gag me' as in 'with a spoon' or the much-more-interesting 'and then tie me up and have your way wi--'... uh, never mind.