There are times when simple explanations for specific events just don’t suffice. After decades spent trying to understand why my mind doesn’t work like everyone else’s, I decided to take a new approach to the problem. I contacted a biogeneticist at a large midwestern university and inquired as to what, if any, benefits might be derived from undertaking a personal complete DNA work-up for the specific purpose described above.
After grilling me for a few minutes to make sure that I wasn’t trying to scam the university into giving me a free DNA analysis, she agreed to do the work. I’d done some research of my own and I’d previously determined that any anomalies of the Hardy-Weinberg principle affecting specific allele frequencies within the spectrum of the Lee Equation might provide a diploid explanation, if and when a determinant gene could be isolated at a site previously identified with cognitive thought processes. So, if I could substantiate her results when evaluated within tightly defined and exposed dominant phenotypes not expressly structured as haplo-sufficient, then ribosome contacts with that allele would, necessarily, be taxonomically defined as aberrant!
Well… imagine my relief at her conclusions! Of course, it offers me few solutions, if any whatsoever, but at least now I know that I’m not just ‘kinda funny about some things’; there are definite uncontrollable somatic maladies affecting my thought processes and subsequent treatment of language patterns in all regards.
I guess I could consider a lobotomy.
3 comments:
All this scientific jargon makes my head hurt...and my fingers sore from flipping through the dictionary. But, don't have the lobotomy on my account, Bob. Seriously, I'll be fine...
;)
I thought you already had a lobotomy.
Oh, yea... I forgot. My bad.
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