My friends now figure that my life is so utterly meaningless that I would care that rubber bands last longer if only I’ll keep them in the refrigerator (presumably right next to the half-eaten container of blueberry yogurt I can’t manage to force down), Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance, and Leonardo DaVinci invented the scissors.
Actually, I’m not sure what this says about them (or me), but the very fact that I’m reporting it is troubling. We live in a world where pissed-off ‘martyrs’ blow up innocent shoppers and whacked-out foreign exchange students emulating sad, miscreant killers take their blood lust to our campuses, yet I feel compelled to inform you that in the last 4,000 years, not a single new animal has been domesticated.
Now, while I occasionally pick up a scissors and I vaguely recall reading about a rather droll confrontation Winston Churchill once had with Lady Astor, but beyond these two instances, I rarely give either a solitary thought. But just now, I Googled both key words just to see what would show up. I can only assume that the activity temporarily forestalls thinking about the events unfolding in Baghdad and Blacksburg, and the dull, nagging, seemingly never-ending pain associated with both.
I don't know if any answers to the problems exist, but if they do, apparently no one has the balls or the influence necessary to implement them.
So, I’ll tell you that scissors are often confused with shears and that Winston Churchill once, when reminded by Lady Astor that he was drunk, purportedly quipped “I may be drunk, Madam, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
If you’re looking for answers or rationale for the world, I fear you’ve come to the wrong place. I haven't made any decisions, as yet, about the rubber bands.
Actually, I’m not sure what this says about them (or me), but the very fact that I’m reporting it is troubling. We live in a world where pissed-off ‘martyrs’ blow up innocent shoppers and whacked-out foreign exchange students emulating sad, miscreant killers take their blood lust to our campuses, yet I feel compelled to inform you that in the last 4,000 years, not a single new animal has been domesticated.
Now, while I occasionally pick up a scissors and I vaguely recall reading about a rather droll confrontation Winston Churchill once had with Lady Astor, but beyond these two instances, I rarely give either a solitary thought. But just now, I Googled both key words just to see what would show up. I can only assume that the activity temporarily forestalls thinking about the events unfolding in Baghdad and Blacksburg, and the dull, nagging, seemingly never-ending pain associated with both.
I don't know if any answers to the problems exist, but if they do, apparently no one has the balls or the influence necessary to implement them.
So, I’ll tell you that scissors are often confused with shears and that Winston Churchill once, when reminded by Lady Astor that he was drunk, purportedly quipped “I may be drunk, Madam, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
If you’re looking for answers or rationale for the world, I fear you’ve come to the wrong place. I haven't made any decisions, as yet, about the rubber bands.
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