Oh, Woe Is Me!

Apparently, you are reading the ramblings of a vicious, unprincipled, politically ill-informed Socialist dupe. According to the talking heads on Fox News, I am personally responsible for all of our losses in Iraq, both human and fiscal. By some ideology that remains a little foggy in my mind (probably due to my low IQ and myopia), my lack of support for this president directly translates to military and political failure in the Middle East.

What can I say? Send me the bill. Oh, wait… you already did. Sorry, my bad.

So take my advice and stay away from here. Run while there’s still time. I’m a pox on this society and if I had any class whatsoever, I’d just go ahead and stick the barrel of the good ol’ Ruger Firehawk in the back of my throat and yank. I’ve already run Rummy out of office, along with DeLay, Foley and several other fine, upstanding, right-leaning pedoph—er, I mean congressmen. If I’d just had the good sense to go along with the winks and nudges of the majority of Real Americans, our troops would have adequate body armor and weapons to go door-to-door in Baghdad safely, rooting out all the Al Queda cells and more than likely, finally apprehending Osama Bin Laden.

Then, Halliburton and Daddy Dick could nationalize all the Iraqi oil and bring gas prices down a penny or two.

But, no… I had to insist that we bring our kids home. I supported and voted for a bunch of wild-eyed liberals and women who don’t have the balls to do what has to be done in order for the blessings of liberty to ring in the ears of every freedom-loving patriot in the world! Now, the wrong side is writing the checks, and they’re a bit more reluctant to blow up the desert and actually think that we could maybe spend some of those billions on our own people and bring some of our troops home, blasphemous bastards that they are.

So, as of the first of the year, I will no longer receive Channel 16, it is being permanently blocked to any registered Democrat. We simply can’t be trusted to hear the truth. I'd write back, but I simply don't have the heart to tell them that I destroyed the number 6 on my remote so that tuning to their channel was highly unlikely. "You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!!"

Oh, and Happy New Year to the Bush twins... here's hoping they're sober enough to watch their father's impeachment hearings.