I’m a bit farklempt this morning as I gag down yet another bowl of oatmeal in my quest to gain better health if not disposition. Sadly, it would seem that, at least for some of us, the two concepts do not ride happily in the same back seat. There would seem to exist some great Cosmic Contradiction prohibiting humans from being healthy and happy at the same time.
Keep cholesterol levels below established healthy norms, exercise vigorously for optimal cardio-vascular function, limit caloric intake to physician-established levels, get regular check-ups and cancer screenings for heart, liver, kidneys, lungs, genitals, pancreas, stomach, colon and skin, avoid trans-fatty acids, limit alcohol consumption to standards established by The Women’s Christian Temperance Union, don’t smoke (anything), plant trees, go to church, give generously to the charities of your choice, spend time with residents at a pensioners’ center, adopt a couple of puppies and kittens from the pound and go door-to-door insisting that your neighbors do likewise, send money to tele-evangelists for reasons you don’t fully understand but it doesn’t hurt to cover all the bases… and you might live to a ripe old age.
Or, then again, you might wake up with a ripping headache (the result of a night spent drinking shots out of the navel of a woman you met only yesterday), stagger toward the bathroom where a missile of blue ice launched from the toilet of a passing airliner blasts through your poorly-maintained roof, strikes you on the head and offers a permanent solution for your cranial distress.
For all of us the destination is the same, and hard as we may try, there are no guarantees of longevity. Yes, I’ll eat the damn oatmeal, but don’t confuse the destination with the journey. I’m still looking for that lady with the cute little bellybutton.
2 comments:
What? Did you say something? I'm looking up farklempt....Oooh, Yiddish!
Apparently not. Sheesh... and I try so hard. I'm now convinced that any passing similarities I might have with cogent expressions of thought, those Gestalt principles of organization holding that (other things being equal) parts of a stimulus field that are similar to each other tend to be perceived as belonging together as a unit, are tangential at best. Oh, well, at least I didn't charge you to read it, so I'm a thief of nothing but your time, and for that I offer my heartfelt apology.
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