Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Hell Only Tuesday Can Bring




As most of you already know, I'm an aspiring screenplay writer. While it's true that I couldn't find a home for "Gunther Spooge" or "Nighttime for Giardia" or "Ass-Crack Lament", I have high hopes for "Park Bench", the psychological drama featuring the relationship between several unique and aging layers of enamel and latex paint forced to deal with their feelings of hopelessness as they endure the weathering and cold of the Midwest winter. The premise relies on the audience's ability to project their own emotions upon inanimate objects while aging causes the layers to chip and peel, revealing the underlayer's desire to once again re-live a life of exposure to the elements.

I think the draft could use a good punch-up, particularly with DuPont 4653 Off-White Satin Latex, who is still having problems getting the other layers to relate to her, and the second act falls a little flat when Benjamin Moore Aliphatic Urethane Gloss #CM74-00 becomes hopelessly infatuated with the physically and emotionally inaccessible black Shop-Kote metal primer. If I can raise the stakes to a white-hot blaze with the smoldering sexual tension created by the intimacy of their polyacrylic bonding, I think my little masterpiece will be bound for Broadway!

If not, I guess I'll just have to keep on sniffing glue until something else comes along.

11 comments:

Jo Janoski said...

Brilliant! Like egg shell white mixed with misty gray...

Lee's River/Zlatovyek said...

I have a crackling narrative titled: U.S. Army Corps of Engineers - Specifications for Contractors - Painting of External Elements you may wish to consider for background to your opus.

I once adapted it for Israeli sub-contractors.
The detailed plot outlines the specific minimal allowable micron thickness of the layerings of sub-coat, primer, top coat and sealant.

If these can be of any assistance in your project, please let me know. As matters presently stand, ah...sit, well, actually, lie, the specs are mouldering in the grave of discarded documents in my basement.

With best regards to Aliphatic and Sub-Kote. Satin Latex (ooh, naughty) reminds them: there is a life after bonding. Specially when latex is involved.

Nan J said...

A new aspect of my peeling ceilings, to be sure...

Scot said...

too much....could it be a musical?

Bubba said...

Jo-- Yea... brilliant, huh?

Lee-- Get outa here! Gawd, I love it when you talk technical! Be still my foolish heart...

Nan-- Sorry... ceiling peelings are so off-Broadway.

Scot-- Ya think? Hmmmm... "Kick off ya' top coat... spread the news... my baby's gone latex... her pinks are now blues..." Everybody sing!

amuirin said...

lololol


and I do mean that

D.R. Murray said...

This gives me hope for my own screenplay, Driftwood.

kaylee said...

Pass the glue and damn
the something something,
or not


lfmty

kay lee

Noah The Great said...

xDDDDD

paisley said...

all i can think of is great... neither of them will complain if they have to sleep in the wet spot.... don't ask me why... but that is the first thing that comes to my mind.... i know... keep my comments to myself........

Bubba said...

amuirin-- Thankya, thankya, thankya...

D.R.-- Wow! Sounds like a blockbuster to me...

Kaylee-- Yea, it's always the something something that's worth damning, isn't it? :)

Noah-- Hey, everybody, look! I got 5 D's from Noah! I think that's a new personal best! Now I can die happy... thanks, Noah!

Paisley-- Rant on, my friend... the wet spot is worthy of comment here. More wet spots would equate to less heartache, by my way of thinking.