In Consideration of Lascaux

The Thought For The Day:
You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
(I know... it's lame, but at least it's original. I can honestly say I thought it up. Whoppee. It's amazing what will pass for entertainment when you're really, really bored.)

Have you ever thought about why we do some of the things we do? I want to know who the first guy was who, after wandering around looking for something to eat for days on end, sees the first cow that man has ever laid eyes on. How long does he have to stare at this gargantuan four-legged bovine creature with the massive horns and big sac of nipples hanging underneath before he says, "Gee... I think I'll pull on those and drink whatever comes out"?

I mean, really... this is before cattle were domesticated, so he doesn't know a cow from a sabre-toothed tiger at this point, does he? Even if he makes the comparison between his own mate's and the cow's hangy-down thingies, how does he know that the stuff isn't poison to humans? I don't recall hearing about any hungry calves that attacked lactating women while looking for a quick, nutritious meal.

Common sense tells me that this is the same guy who ate the first mushroom. "Hmmm... that's an interesting looking thing growing out of that pile of manure, maybe I should pop it into my mouth-- Hey... why is the forest starting to spin?"

Somehow I suspect that once word got out, Mushroom Guy was the most popular dude in the tribe. All hours of the night, some guy would be pounding on the entrance to his cave. "Pssstt... hey, Blarg... you awake? Got any more of those poop-buttons? No, man, it's me, Kwang, I ain't a narc..."

Next thing you know, the whole damn tribe's sitting next to the fire, giggling and writing on the walls of the cave. "Wow, man... that's a cool-looking eohippus! Bitchin'! I've never seen one before with all four legs on one side. Hey, dude, pass me the bota bag... I need another hit of milk!"