Monday, April 21, 2008

Entropy and Other Falderal

Entropy and Other Falderal
By Deacon Harley Oglethorpe






The Second Law of Thermodynamics, a fundamental scientific principle stating that entropy increases over time as organized forms decay into greater states of randomness, should be repealed. This obviously-liberal law would have us believe that the universe will continue to expand until it eventually reaches heat death.

That's hardly an optimistic view of a world the Lord created for mankind. The American people should send a strong message here: We don't like the implications of this law, and we will not rest until it has been reversed in the courts.

This 'law of nature', which asserts that matter continually breaks down as disorder increases and heat is lost, has long been decried by Christian fundamentalists as running counter to the religion's doctrine of Divine grace and eternal salvation.

Why can't disorder decrease over time instead of everything decaying? Is that too much to ask? This is our children's future we're talking about. I don't know about you, but I don’t want my child growing up in a world headed for total heat death and dissolution into a vacuum. The Second Law of Thermodynamics is a deeply disturbing scientific principle that threatens our children's understanding of God's universe as a benevolent and loving place.

With this in mind, I intend to start a nationwide grassroots campaign to have the law removed from high-school physics textbooks. The plan has already met with significant support in the state legislatures of Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Tennessee, Georgia, and Mississippi.

There are some leading physicists who contend that, as the foundation of much of our current scientific understanding, a reversal of the Second Law of Thermodynamics would have massive ramifications on the future of both our nation and the universe itself. They state that were the second law to be repealed, random particles would collect and organize themselves instead of dissipating, thereby affecting such basic processes as combustion, digestion, evaporation, etc.



Also, there wouldn't be much sunlight, either, because all stars, including our sun, would be collecting photons from surrounding space instead of emitting solar radiation. Then the universe would begin to contract rather than expand, which could possibly turn back the flow of time itself, sending our cosmos spiraling inward toward a reverse Big Bang… I like to call it the 'Big Suck’.




This is America, and in this country, we have the God-given right to change laws we don't think are Christian. We are united in our demands that this dubious 'Second law of Thermodynamics' be repealed, and our voice will be heard no matter what. That's just a plain fact, and nothing anybody says can ever change it. Let the people decide instead of a bunch of machines and pointy-headed liberals bent on the destruction of Godliness! Can I get a resounding, "Amen!" ?



Tomorrow: Gravity— a good thing?

21 comments:

hfurness said...

I hear the "big suck" now - and it's coming from the collapse of our court and political system. And if we get rid of that darn gravity we could all fly and not have to worry about jet fuel costs - or any fuel costs. And getting rid of that pesky heat loss thing we could pull into ourselves all of the energy we would need and I for one could use more energy....

Bubba said...

Brother Furness-- This, too, shall be ultimately judged by The Creator of All... Amen!!

Shirley said...

Well, if it will reverse hot flashes I'll vote for it!

kaylee said...

I gots to get me some of
that entropy stuff,
but I just can not get
started on it.
I suck.
and it is going to rain.
that sucks.

Maybe there is not enough
entropy to go around
I will be to late to get
some.
that will suck

(snort)

love this one
klk

Scot said...

now who wouldn't vote fo rthe big suck?

amuirin said...

You sound like you might already be on the school board of several of those states you listed. :)

See, I've been wishing for some time that they'd abolish Mondays, but apparently that's not a christian enough sentiment to muss up the order of the universe.

Nan Jacobs said...

Um... amen? :->

ozymandiaz said...

Maybe instead of just changing the law we should just put a bunch of riders on it so it bogs down in congress...

Jo Janoski said...

This has got to be one of your best observations. Too bad it will soon be gulped up by the big suck.

Lee's River/Zlatovyek said...

Plain Fact. I heard the Tongue of the Cosmic Frog too, bubba. Nobody in his right mind can stand for humans tinkering with the Cosmic Frog. Us humans over here in this here Graulhet place? (Graulhet means froglets, btw) us humans? we don't go for no thermo thing like that there you talk about.
Amen, bubba. Find the lawyer that knows the judge and Repeal That Mother.

Bubba said...

Shirley-- Have you been talking to my wife?

Kaylee-- Naaaa... I'll see to it that saves you a couple of vlorks of entropy. That should last you for awhile if you use it sparingly.

Amuirin-- I think I'm going to need to see your GOP card... such blasphemy smacks of the left-leaners. I'll pray for you, my child.

Nan-- Read Amuirin's...

Ozy-- Nope... been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Doesn't work, but my portfolio's on the rise.

Jo-- The Big Suck is inevitable, I'm afraid, but if we can get Natural Selection repealed, too, we can go play in the greenhouse gases for a little while, at least.

Lee-- Billy Jo's nephew was baptized in the fire on Sunday and I think he can take enough time off from his position at the NRA to work on the language... that is, if we can keep him away from Chuck Heston's ghost.

Amen, y'all!

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