Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Fun in Room 234 West

Oh, yea, you’re wearing white, or at least some shade of white—I don’t see any particular shimmer that I might associate with an angel or other symbol of chastity/purity—but white, nevertheless. So, I guess I should be grateful that it’s you who showed up and not one of those dreadful paisley beings content to flit about the area, offering up saccharin Oh, you poor bastard verisimilitudes without being asked.

The chair is pretty comfortable, too, all in all, not at all like I’d envisioned the three or four hundred times that I’d played it out in my mind before I arrived. You positioned the backrest back a few degrees so that I wasn’t forced to sit completely upright for the entire three hours, too. Thinking back on it, maybe I should have offered some outward display of amity, but I was a little busy trying not to throw up my nuts along with my spleen, pancreas and an organ that I couldn’t recognize; I hope it wasn’t something I might need in the event I ever stop puking. One of the lifelines entering my arms is something chemically related to rat poison, although not nearly so inexpensive or easy to pronounce. The other drips in the stuff that will keep me from throwing up… I must make a mental note to deny the charge when I get the bill. Perhaps I can work out a deal with them to recover from the bucket and reattach my gall bladder as a tradeoff for not filing suit.

That’s right, Vera, wipe my mouth off, that’s helping a lot. I can almost take a breath now without the waves overtaking me. Oh, hell, yes, put the blood pressure cuff on me… God forbid that my blood pressure get a little elevated, I might feel a little discomfort. Come over here, Princess, lean down a little so I can whisper in your ear. Yea, that’s it… listen, Do you have anyone you want me to kill? Put some morphine in that sack and let it drip in, and I promise I’ll whack anyone you want…

Wait, don’t leave, I—

Do me a favor, will you, Sugar? Call fuchsia back over, I think I feel a good one coming on and I’d like to try a little target practice…

13 comments:

Shirley said...

So, all things considered, it sounds like everything is going as planned. It does make you wonder who's brilliant plan it was though doesn't it? Anything that doesn't kill us...you know the rest! Hang in there, my friend.

Scot said...

good piece--creative non fiction?

Scot said...

I'm playin a little John Prine for bronco bob

paisley said...

"not one of those dreadful paisley beings content to flit about the area,"


before i finish reading... i must know... why bob why me????LOL!!!!!

paisley said...

well what us paisleys know that you evidently don't is ... we have all the good drugs......bwaaaahhhhhh!!!!

kaylee said...

I hope this is fiction
if not get well soon.
And good luck with
the pain in the arm
thing/



klk

Jo Janoski said...

Good Gawd man! You dissed the paisley's!!! Are you insane? Throw off those tubes and run for your life! ...Hey, I said throw off the tubes, not your clothes!

Bubba said...

Hi, everyone... thanks for everything. Round One of the chemo is but a fading memory this morning, although I get to repeat it next week. Doc says it won't be as bad next time, I guess the cocktail will be altered. Oh, joy! Thank you all for your support, it is much appreciated.

Bob

Anonymous said...

Aragag, brilliantly evocative writing, good luck, big fella, i'll keep the beer cold and the clubs in the boot of the car 'til you are back in raging form,

Bubba said...

Thanks, Paul, now that I'm 24 hours past it, I'm much better. Maybe not quite ready to get the driver out of the bag yet, but hopefully soon. Much appreciated...

amuirin said...

Chemo?

This is real?

jesus

Thank goodness you have a sense of humor the size of Texas. It's maybe the one essential element for getting through hell, all the way through, and out the other end again.

Lee's River/Zlatovyek said...

I know. This is later. But probably after more of the same. So just a nod over the ocean - no I've never been there and done that (chemo) but know 'nuff about it to give you an A+++ on the report.
Hang in and hang on.
best.

Bubba said...

Thanks, Lee... much appreciated. What's the old saw? 'What don't kill you makes you pissier?' It's true... just ask any nurse who had to deal with me today. I'm a wuss...